Tik Tok, a tribute to the life of a suitor

Maybe we don’t wake up in the morning feelin’ P. Diddy,  because who the heck is that? Besides, you can’t wake up if you never go to sleep in the first place. When you party all day and night, only sleeping when you pass out from too much wine, brushing your teeth doesn’t even seem necessary, let alone with a bottle of jack. Regardless of these small details, it seems like the general theme of this song we just found, “Tik Tok,” by Ke$ha really represents the kind of lifestyle we live. She talks about how the party doesn’t stop, which is pretty much the only thing you need to know about us, because it is the ONLY thing to know. Also, she “doesn’t have a care in the world, but has plenty of beer.” Replace beer with wine, and you’ve got us. Also, the fact that we are totally broke doesn’t matter either considering the fact that we are overwhelmed with wine and duck and all sorts of other good things to eat, and one of us will be rich once Penelope makes her decision. It seems like even though there is an almost 3000 year difference in the time period and the phrase “DJ blow the speakers up” has no meaning to me, Ke$ha has the same thing going that we do. Who cares about anything else when you can just party?

                The only thing we really have to worry about is the “Po Po shutting us down,” you could say, or in our case, Odysseus shutting us down. Telemachus has left to go find his father, and even if Telemachus is a wimp, his dad sure isn’t. If by some chance Telemachus does find his dad, or his dad finds his way home without the help of his son, we are going to be in big trouble. The chances still seem slim, but it is concerning to think that Telemachus has a mission and is going to fulfill it. Of course, the odds are that he won’t get around the block, or I guess over the horizon because he sailed. Still, the chance is there, and if it all goes according to Telemachus’s plan we are in some deep trouble.  One of the suitors, Antinous, even tried to get him to stay here and party with us. Sure, the kid is a little pest but it’s better than having his daddy come home and give us what we probably deserve.

In the meantime, however, we are going to “fight till we see the sunlight.” As my new favorite musical artist says, “Tick Tock around the clock, no the party don’t stop.” Some people say “party like its 1999, “ but who knows what that means? By then people could be driving chariots without horses and flying through the air on vehicles like a Pegasus. All we care about now is keeping little ‘Machus out of our hair and making sure that the party never ends, unless Odysseus comes home. If that happens, we will be out of here faster than Atalanta having a race with Hermes!